Me and my girl and boy, raising awareness and acceptance of autism

I don’t know why but this half term has been really challenging so far.

Maybe it’s because both T & D are tired after working hard at school.

The birthday party D went to on Saturday didn’t help (see earlier post).

Maybe it’s because D’s meltdowns have increased since Christmas, we’re currently stuck in the referral process for paediatric doctor and hopefully CAHMS referral.

Maybe it’s the onset of puberty (we have been told she will start it early).

Or maybe I’m more aware and constantly looking out for triggers and trying to pre-empt them.

Yesterday afternoon was horrible.

The morning had gone really well, they’d all made rain shaker type things out of toilet rolls – details on earlier post – and were letting off some energy on the trampoline.

T and D were playing with a ball when she wanted the ball and he didn’t give it to her. He did a bounce and ended up lying down on the trampoline and D purposefully kicked him.

Poor T. D then stomped off, she’d realised she’d hurt him and there was a lot of “smack me, hurt me” talk – we don’t by the way. And she stormed off to her room.

T’s injury needed cleaning off and he needed comforting. He was shocked and obviously upset. Once he was calm it was time to have a chat to D.

I used that deep cuddle that she needs, got down to her level and tried to get her to tell me why she’d done it. She couldn’t explain. She had that blank look in her eyes which is always meltdown related. She tried to bite her hand too, wouldn’t direct any of it into a big squeeze onto my hand which usually works.

Eventually she said she was sorry and T said he forgave her. I tried not to mention it again as I didn’t want any more outbursts.

I know it’s catching it before it happens but yesterday wasn’t fair on T, he has such unconditional love for her – we all do – but she’s getting so much taller and stronger now. There’s 18 months between them, she’s younger, but you’d think she was the elder one.

I guess I just have to have eyes everywhere, note this down and tell paediatric doctor when we get the appointment.

It’s not nice though when one of your children deliberately hurts the other.

Thursday: delighted with her Angry Bird hat and very appropriate after yesterday.

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Comments on: "Half term a holiday? Not a chance" (6)

  1. In my case the only one K hurts is me. He usually ignores B and acts the same with S as he does with hubby – well behaved. You have the right idea, although it is next to impossible at times, to keep eyes open to triggers. Sometimes the meltdown occurs for what we think is no reason but for them it is huge! Yes, keep notes to ask the dr. Hopefully you won’t have to wait too long. Good luck!

  2. The newest addition to our family is only 2 1/2. But I’m already catching H unleash attacks on him. And although at the moment there mild, as a mother keeping a close eye and if u can five steps ahead, it’s still very worrying that it could be the start of some major conflict arguements between the boys. I have very very lucky and got a diagnosis for H very early and he’s only 8 now, but that has enabled me to stay ontop of things. Although I do have really bad days too! Especially since having O!! And I do let H know that he has done something wrong, however it’s heart breaking when its looks highly intentional but deep down I know he doesn’t really mean it, he’s just not as able at self control as the rest of us.

  3. Know exactly what you mean G has been horrible to.his.sister. Every day I try to be positive but he only thinks of his own needs he has learnt to Say sorry but doesn’t seem to mean it or alter his behaviour. She is getting fed up with him and increasingly hostile as he eats her treats takes and breaks her stuff and is threatening towards her (she is also volatile herself)

  4. Nice post! Keep up the nifty work!

  5. Brings back memories – although my youngest son would verbally attack me or slam objects. ie throwing baskets of laundry down the stairs, and slamming the computer keyboard on the computer desk tray so hard it bent the metal tracks. Well done:-0)

  6. This sounds so much like M who is 5 and the way she treats B her brother who is only 14 months older and NT. He always seems to get the brunt of her meltdowns and it is so hard to anticipate the moment and distract or remove her. We are also waiting for CAMHS appt, but trying to get the local paedicatrician involved too. It’s a long hard slog.

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