Am feeling sad today. My mum will be 70 years old on Thursday and she is going out for a meal with my sisters and their husbands and children. We’re not going.
Not that we haven’t been asked, not that I didn’t want to go, it just wouldn’t have worked.
The meal is at a restaurant D has never been to before, not in a private function room. If we had have got her in there (which would have been a struggle to start with), the noise of happy excited families enjoying their Sunday lunch would have set off a sensory overload. And that would have been before any food arrived. If it didn’t look right, she wouldn’t have eaten it and wanted to go home.
If she had got upset and wanted to bolt, the thought of chasing her through a busy restaurant did not appeal.
One of the main reasons we’re not going however is that one of her cousins says she’s mad, to her face. That washes over D, but it upsets the rest of us. I didn’t want to get into a debate over one of my sisters’ parenting skills.
So we’ll see my mum separately, in her house, where D is comfortable.
Maybe I’m not so much sad, as disappointed – Autism and other people’s apathy sucks sometimes.