Contamination alert! Fri 24th May 2013

Our half term break started a day early today, unintentionally, with both T and D off school. T with a very sore throat, D’s with the snuffles that have been threatening all week.

Her school are very particular about students not being in if they have coughs or colds, due to the fact that germs can be so easily spread. I always remember during D’s first term in her SN school, one of the TA’s told me that one day in a previous term they’d had 7 children off from class with stomach upsets…in a class of 8!

It’s not been all bad though, they do seem to have been sensitive with each other, I guess because they’ve both felt poorly and without enough energy to fester at each other as they would normally.

D took to her crafts, as she does when she needs to self-soothe and self-regulate and made some dolls, partly using a kit she’d been given for her birthday:

Hopefully their restful (ish) day has given them both a head start in banishing the germs sooner. They were both so unbelievably tired this week that I’m not surprised they surcumbed.

I shared some Family Days Out money-saving ideas earlier from MoneySupermarket.com click here to read. Worth a look if any excursions are planned during the break.

So, that’s us. A week of highs and lows, of fun and tears. Yes please to half term!

I hope everyone’s had a good day, comments/RTs/shares as ever welcomed, thanks for reading Jx 😘

“Close Every Door…” Thurs 23rd May 2013

Ever since D took part in her school’s Joseph production nearly a month ago she has been using the songs to express her emotions. It’s been appropriate use of echolalia or learnt script. Something that’s been very apparent from approximately the age of 4years and can produce a reaction from people who don’t know that because she has made an appropriate response they assume she has understood, which is definitely not the case.

(For example, ask D when her birthday is and she will say 20th May because that’s what she’s been told and had been working towards. But then ask her what the date is the day before/the day after and she won’t be able to answer. The question is too complicated for her. This really concerns me for the future once she’s deemed an adult and subject to assessments.)

Anyway, it was an extremely tired and bolting D I collected from school. They’d had a change to routine and she’d also be inadvertently bashed into by one of her classmates so she’d bottled up all that emotion until she saw me.

We had our wander through The Deep Dark Woods but, unlike Tuesday (click to read), our journey was accompanied by D singing a very sad song from Joseph – Close Every Door – and saying that she wanted to destroy herself. All a reaction to her day. It was heartbreaking to hear and despite bear hugs and gentle prompts, she wasn’t comfortable until we were at home, in her safe place.

A very fragile D this evening too, Bunny (aka @AutismBunny) has not left her side. She really needs the half term break next week. She’s also very snuffly, poor thing.

In contrast, bouncy T has had a great day. The celebration day at his school – in honour of a brilliant Ofsted report – has meant that it’s been a non-uniform day (so, football kit) and exploration of a circus big top and trying out circus skills in the school grounds! “Epic” as T said. Couple that with his computing after-school club and football training tonight and I think he’s had the ideal school day! He’s tired but very happy.

So, a definite TGIF from us as Friday looms. I hope everyone’s had a good day, comments/RTs/shares as ever welcomed, thanks for reading Jx 😘

Thank you if you voted.. Weds 22nd May 2013

…for me in the Brilliance In Blogging awards, unfortunately I’m not a BiBs finalist, but I was incredibly chuffed that my blog made the shortlists amongst such inspirational blogs.

This badge is one that will stay on the blog with pride:

It hasn’t been a great day for T and D, both tired, both needing the half term break next week.

T, in particular, was very tired and a little bit forgetful, which made him quite irritable this morning as his obsessive need for everything to be correct set in.

We soon got him smiling on the school run though, there’s a new app called Bobo Explores Light which they are both fascinated by. Explains about how light is so important with the help of cute little robot, very informative and interactive.

Two exhausted children at the end of the school day and D shot upstairs to wail as soon as we got back, drained by her day with “those annoying boys”. Half term can’t come too quickly.

T took himself out to self-regulate on the trampoline whilst D calmed down, it feels like life is a constant risk assessment process at times.

T is excited about his school day tomorrow though, it’s a celebration day as his school got Outstanding grades in their recent Ofsted report. There will be a circus tent in the grounds apparently.

All calmer tonight and D is settling, singing Joseph songs to herself, T happily reading his football magazine.

One day closer to the much-needed half term break, I hope everyone’s had a good one, comments/RTs/shares as ever welcomed, thanks for reading Jx 😘

Knight D of The Deep Dark Woods! Tues 21st May 2013

A journey is never just a journey with D, there is always something she’ll spot and leap out of the buggy to take a closer look. It’s normally a tiny bit of plastic/strip of wrapping paper/discarded ribbon/funny shaped stone. It’s all pondered over, picked up and then placed in my bag – no wonder it’s heavy by the end of the week!

Today’s journey home was a journey with a difference. Because T was an after school club (and Hubbie was picking him up) we could go home via The Deep Dark Woods, D’s favourite route and named after the Gruffalo books.

There were flowers to look at, pebbles to admire and go “plop” in the secret lake en route and dandelions, lots of dandelions!

Unlike previously when my hair would take a hit of dandelion clocks, D decided she was a knight and the dandelions needed to be stopped “from getting my Mumma!”

She was also fascinated by a wood louse going on a journey, it’s just by the twig in the picture:

D’s quest continued even when we were out of the woods and the dandelions on the verges were admonished (just those though). I guess this what comes of being the only girl in a class of lively boys.

Lovely to see her so animated and happy, the journey did take ages but it was fun.

She’s remained in a happy, settled mood tonight. Still some birthday cake left over so we’ve had candles and singing again, all good fun and I think we’ve enough for tomorrow too.

T’s had a good day too, his after school club was football so that’s virtually guaranteed that he’ll enjoy that and Hus football magazine arrived on time.

They were a bit anti with each other this morning but all seems forgotten now. Both looking forward to half term next week.

So, a good one from us. I hope everyone’s had similar, comments/RTs/shares as ever welcomed, thanks for reading Jx 😘

Happy Birthday to D! Mon 20th May 2013

A very happy, smiley girl is settling to sleep tonight, she’s had a great Birthday.

The whole day has felt like a Magic Moment (click here to read my earlier post and see some pictures), it’s been lovely.

She’s had a fab day at school, we’d taken in some M and S chocolate cake for a little party they were having this afternoon, complete with party games and singing. She rushed out delighted to see me and told practically every parent also collecting their child that it was her birthday. She had fallen over at lunchtime and bruised her knee, normally that would have meant a bolt as soon as she see me (from built-up anxieties) but not today.

We popped over to get her an ice-cream from the van and because it was her birthday, the vendor gave it to her for free! One very happy girl!

Her cake with candles (sort of) in the shape of a Number 9, they twinkled and sizzled and took a lot of puffing to blow out!

I can’t deny that T’s been a bit jealous today, I’ve tried to combat that by him receiving a couple of books (all about weird science facts, with b u r p and f a r t s in the titles) and we’ve talked about when his birthday is etc. So, it was lovely to see this, the two of them sharing and playing on D’s main present:

Moments like the one above don’t happen much and very often moods can change certainly as if a switch has been flicked, but today, all was good.

She’s been overjoyed with her presents, played with them and been a joy to be with, roll on next year!!

I hope everyone’s had a good day, comments/RTs/shares as ever welcomed, thanks for reading Jx 😘

Counting down! Sun 19th May 2013

Oh my giddy-whatnots! I don’t think D could be more excited about her birthday tomorrow!

It’s lovely. For so many years, May 20th was just another day to her but that’s no longer the case. She knows she’s still 8 today and 9 from tomorrow. How early she’ll surface tomorrow I’m not sure, recently *yawn* it’s been virtually as soon as the birds start chirruping so…dawn onwards!

Bless her, she has NO idea of what her presents contain, fingers and toes tightly crossed that she’ll like them.

It’s been a day in which I’ve been proud of D and T and how they handled themselves in a busy town, whilst at the same time conscious of just how intolerant other people can be, just because they don’t know or wish to know about autism.

Maybe I noticed it more today because we were going for a meal – at the usual restaurant, usual booth, usual meal choices for T and D – and I wanted everything to be as nice as possible because it was a pre-birthday meal for D. They both did extremely well, despite the (very) rowdy booth next to us, who were very critical of anyone who…wasn’t them basically. T had a few tears but D seemed oblivious to it all, she was there to eat and she definitely enjoyed her food!

It was a relief to get home. T immediately seeking his de-stress area (the trampoline, with a ball), D eager to try out Prism Break (yes, we found it).

The downside to it being Sunday was that homework needed completing. Whereas T is “bash-bish-bosh, lets get this done and out of the way” and usually completes it in very fast time, D is more reluctant, it’s all “too hard work”. We agreed at parents evening that she would write a sentence for her News each week covering what she’d done at the weekend and even though it was started with “On Saturday/Sunday I…”, it still took a good half hour for her to write four words for each day. With protests, with some sounding assistance. It was very difficult to watch how frustrating it was for her, but at the same time, she is doing so well with the reading, it’s knowing that we need to persevere with the writing aspect.

So, homework has eventually been done and the soon-to-be 9 year old has been tucked in. So much has happened in the first 9 years of her life, I wonder what the next 9 will bring?

I hope everyone’s had a good day, comments/RTs/shares welcomed, thanks for reading Jx 😘

The beach came to us! Sat 18th May 2013

For ages now, D has been saying “Mumma, when you’ve passed your driving test, we’re going to the beach”. It’s been her focus and unfortunately I’ve had to halt lessons as they’re too expensive. Anyway..

The beach came to us today! It’s taken D most of the day. She loves crafting and the beach has been made with plasticine, Playmobil figures and a sylvanian families chair from a set that she barely plays with. The base is the lid from her plasticine tub so it’s very portable, just the way she likes her toys.

It’s been played with inside and outside, spot the cat in the background!

Tomorrow we’re heading out for a pre-birthday lunch for D, at the restaurant we usually go to, where T and D feel very comfortable. She already knows what she’ll be eating – her “usuals” – and has been rattling off verbatim exactly what she’ll be having every time it’s mentioned. It should be good.

T’s team won 8-2 this morning and he scored a goal! He’s normally in a midfield/defender position (lol, me and the terminology!) but he scored from “first touch”, whatever that meant. Anyway, a tired but happy boy tonight.

Wish I could say the same for D. I started drafting the blog whilst Hubbie took over the evening routine. He slipped over in the bath (he’s ok) but D was very shocked and traumatised. We had about half an hour of wailing and deep hugs before she calmed and she’s still awake, next to me. We’ve talked about happy things to try and take her mind off it but I think it’s going to be a while before she’s comfortable enough to settle. Hopefully this won’t impact on her sleep too much when it arrives *fingers crossed*.

So…an uncertain night ahead, bless her. I hope everyone’s had a good day, comments/RTs/shares as ever welcomed, thanks for reading Jx 😘

A positive change to routine Fri 17th May 2013

Despite the inner thoughts knocking around in my head today, we have adhered to the routines today, we have to, with two children who rely on these for regulation and reassurance.

With one exception, one that I’m very pleased and proud about.

I picked up a flappy, happy, bouncy D from school (SO excited about her birthday, she’s been telling the lollipop lady, other parents we exchange “good mornings” with etc) and then we went off to meet T.

T had a request, he wanted to meet up with a classmate after school at the shops. We would literally have time to get home, him get changed and then we’d be walking off again.

D was (surprisingly) okay with the chance, she is a girl governed by her belly and the clock but reassurances that she’d eat as soon as we got back and, back in the buggy for her and off we toodled.

On the way, T was asking me when I thought he’d be able to make the walk by himself, his road awareness is generally good (unlike D) but it’s not so much the road that I feel he’s too young for, more the fact that his moods can change at the flick of a switch and he can be too trusting. I’m not ready for that and nor is he…for a while yet.

Fortunately the other child turned up, with his mum and little brother, I did wonder if they would as this was an arrangement the boys had made between themselves at the end of the day. The mum and I hadn’t met before as D finds the mainstream playground environment far too stressful, not to mention the stares that an SN buggy invariably attracts, so drop-offs are strictly at the gates, with T speeding in quickly.

The boys played football together, D mostly sat with the little brother (side-by-side, so cute!) and watched. The child T was meeting is also on the autistic spectrum and his brother is potentially too so his mum and I had plenty to chat about, in between reassuring relevant children at relevant times that all was okay.

T and the other child do seem to have gravitated together since T’s diagnosis, whether intentionally or unintentionally. It was very nice to see.

Obviously this meant that there was another walk home, T by now very tired and hitching a ride on the buggy footplate, much to D’s annoyance!

This evening has been mildly rushed, trying to speed routines up but, luckily, D is buoyed up by her birthday and T on a trophy induced-high so moods – on the whole – have remained positive.

Another week has absolutely flown by, a busy one, hopefully a calmer weekend beckons with elements of bouncy, flappy excitement and someone counts down to her birthday!

I hope everyone’s had a good day, comments/RTs/shares as ever welcomed, thanks for reading Jx 😘

Happiness is… Thurs 16th May 2013

…in our house tonight.

I’m happy because we had a brilliant parents evening meeting for D. Such a difference to the last two years. D has absolutely flourished with the right support and a very empathetic teacher. I honestly cannot praise her enough. The only thing she came up with was asking D to write more at home, something D’s never keen on but she’s agreed to try. From my viewpoint, my priority is that old chestnut of managing her anxieties but I know I’m fortunate that she will tell me…eventually..a lot of the time it is second-guessing though.

D is happy because it’s her birthday on Monday, she is counting down and is so excited. For years, she didn’t connect 20th May as being anything special and the day was just any other to her.

She’s very specific about what she’d like for her birthday, including a lightcore Skylander figure called Shrimp Break. She was very sure this morning, on the way to school that that was its name. I googled it after dropping her off…nothing, I googled once home…nothing. I racked my (tired) brain cells and then looked in T’s Skylander manual. It’s PRISM BREAK!
So now my task (and I have chosen to accept it) is to find one for Monday *whistling the Mission Impossible theme*.

T is still (very) happy about his trophy, watching the Europa League final last night and he’s gone to another game tonight. Football is his life and as long as I get cuddles here and there, it’s okay, that’s his obsession.

Here’s a picture from Tuesday, taken by another parent. If I remove the red eye, T ends up with black marks on his face for some silly reason, so…one proud, sweaty, warm T:

And Hubbie will be happy cos we’re happy. He’ll be soaked, watching the match with T but it’s what they both enjoy and it’s that dad-son time that they both need.

It may all change tomorrow of course, and it probably will. Life feels like a constant game of dominoes, they’re all stacked up and named, but if one falls, they all do. For now, they’re all standing straight and I’ve got to find this little fellow:

I compared myself to a lilac tree in the garden earlier (!),here it is, if anyone would like a read.

I hope everyone’s had a good day, comments/RTs/shares as ever welcomed, thanks for reading Jx 😘

Back to “our” normal and @Aspiewriter book review Weds 15th May 2013

Sometimes I describe living with autism as being “unpredictably predictable” and it certainly is!

After yesterday’s out-of-routine noisy, busy evening, I wasn’t sure how or even whether D would sleep, but she did sleep, far better than the previous four nights.

After I mentioned the lack of sleep in last night’s blog, a couple of very helpful comments helped me to realise that D’s unsettledness was (probably) due to the changes in the classroom and not related to anything she may have inadvertently viewed, which was a relief.

It seemed to back this theory up as she was back in class yesterday, back into routine and she could see that the class carried on without the child that had left last week. The environment remained positive and it was all ok.

It’s reinforced further to me how much she relies on routine – T is the same – and it’s definitely made me more aware for the future.

And we seem to have our happy D back. The school run this morning was accompanied with Joseph songs and she positively bounced into class.

All fine at pick-up too, she hasn’t chatted that much about her day, apart from to say she’s tired. Settled happily tonight after a bit of arguing with T, they are too alike at times!

T’s had a good day too, he’s still very chuffed about his trophy and slept with it on his pillow last night, it’s remained close by when he’s been sitting down relaxing as well.

I’m including a Bookworm Wednesday recommendation in tonight’s post, a book I’ve enjoyed reading over the last few weeks.

The author is Jeannie Davide-Rivera, who may be familiar on Twitter as @AspieWriter.

I’ve always found Jeannie’s blog posts very insightful and the book was no exception.

Here’s the Amazon link and some information about the book (from Amazon):

Jeannie grew up with autism, but no one around here knew it. Twirling Naked in the Streets will take you on a journey into the mind of a child on the autism spectrum; a child who grows into an adolescent, an adult, and becomes a wife, mother, student, and writer with autism.

This is a gripping memoir of a quirky, weird, but gifted child who grows up never quite finding her niche only to discover at the age of 38 that all the issues, problems, and weirdness she experienced were because she had Asperger’s Syndrome (AS), a form of high-functioning autism.

The tale begins at age three and takes us all the way through her diagnosis. Along the way she explains autism in a way that will have fellow “Aspies” crying tears of joy at being understood, and “neuro-typical” people really starting to grasp the challenges that autistic people face every moment of every day.

I took a few weeks to read the book as I wanted to digest the information and I found it very enlightening. I have always preferred reading real-life experiences rather than a standard text book about the autistic spectrum far more helpful and the fact I already knew of Jeannie made it all the more interesting.

A recommendation from me and a lot of admiration for the woman, wife and mother she is now, her journey has not been easy at times.

This book will appeal to anyone wanting to know more about the autistic spectrum as well as Jeannie’s experiences of growing up without a diagnosis.

So, that’s us, comments/RTs/shares as ever welcomed, thanks for reading Jx 😘