Thanks to a big brother….

One of the things D did at school today was to make toast. T at first was very envious – he loves his toast! – and then started to ask why they’d done that.

I explained to T that D is at her special needs school because we want her to learn “life skills” and feel comfortable in her environment. It may mean that she never takes any exams. But she will learn things like handling money and learning to deal with her fears, shopping from a list, basic cooking skills and other things than NT children and young adults should have no problems doing.

T then remembered back to a report on “South Today” a couple of weeks ago, it featured an autistic woman in her 20′s who had been hit numerous times in the last year by cars because she could not judge the speed they were travelling at.

We then thought of and discussed things that he takes for granted doing and has no problems doing, which his sister would need assistance with. He took it all on board.

It made me realise that T is a very mature, caring 9 year old and a wonderful big brother to his little (ha ha she’s taller than him, with the same shoe size) 7 year old sister. I’m very proud of him.

I want to be…

I joined an online writing forum yesterday, at the suggestion of another Twitter user. There are 22 pages of assignments with topics as diverse as “growing your own cauliflowers” and “analysing Bob Marley’s lyrics”! I haven’t chosen an assignment yet, I need to investigate more, and sort of do a cost benefits analysis.

One of the questions when you sign up was “what were the three things you wanted to do as a job, when a teenager”. In no order of preference, mine were:

A rockstar
An air hostess
A secretary

Now, one of those I achieved, one I nearly did and the other…a definite no. I’ll let you guess which was which!

Remembering those aspirations got me thinking about my hopes for my children. When they’re first born you have a flash forward almost of what you’d like them to achieve. If you have a son, it’s a premier league footballer – especially once they start kicking a ball! Or a solicitor. Something successful. If you have a daughter, you want them also to be successful in whichever career they choose, get married & have their own children. Or not, if that is their choice.

And then a few years later, you get told your child has an additional need, or needs. They also get a label within society – “disabled”. This hits you like a ton of bricks, you spend some time grieving for the child and adult you will not have. Will D be able to live independently, will she get married, will she have her own children? There are so many unanswered questions.

What I do know is, that I’d like the world to have accepted autism by the time she’s a young adult. I’d like her not to fear prejudice or discrimination but (standing on my political soapbox for a minute) I can’t see that happening anytime soon. Partially why I blog, to raise Autism Awareness.

What I want (my children) to be…is happy, then I will be too.