Bathtimes should be fun times…

Had the bathtime from hell tonight with D. We normally use it to chat about our day (the conversation is quite often one-way but as long as I get some information about what she’s done at school etc, it’s worth it)

As background: We have a picture of our landing windowsill of me, my sisters and my late grandparents. I was about 9yrs in it and it reminds me of happy times spent at their house near Hastings. They met my eldest son but died before T & D were born.

A few months back, D asked me about the picture and who was in it. I explained it was my Grandma & that she had died. Poor D jumped to the conclusion that HER grandma, my mum had died and got very upset – it doesn’t help that my mum is always in and out of hospital due to reoccurring pneumonia.

Anyway, tired D in the bath suddenly bursts into tears and says she wants to be a grandma and die. She wants to be old. No reasoning behind it. This then moves on to she wants to get younger and younger and go back in my tummy – hmm, not likely!!

I’ve still got no idea what caused it but we had at least an hour of tears. We hadn’t seen my mum today & the curtains were closed so she wouldn’t have seen the photo.

She only calmed down when I got the calendar out and we worked out how long it was until her birthday and what she thought the birthday bunny would be bringing her. Her birthday is on a Sunday too – yay, no school!!

It was really really strange how that wave of negativity got her & thoughts of death etc. She’s not yet 8..

I wish our referral appointment would hurry up but in the meantime, I might move that photo for a while.

What doesn’t kill you, definitely makes you stronger..

An anonymous post:

1st February: I have been dreading and both looking forward to this day, then I can move on.

Last year on February 1st at around 11.10am I was assaulted. I was grabbed from behind with two hands and basically roughly groped. If he had had a knife I wouldn’t be here now. Broad daylight, me pushing a buggy.

It was five minutes walk from my house.

The man who did it was never caught. I did photo fits and descriptions and the case was closed last August. I don’t like to think of him being out there, scaring other women, I hope something nasty has happened to him.

He was whiskery & wearing a blue woolly hat. I have really appreciated that it’s been a mild winter this year so I haven’t had to see many woolly hats about. I’ve barely worn the coat I was wearing either so, again, glad for the mild weather.

It was reported in the local papers and I requested anonymity but people worked out that it was me. I’m probably still out there online somewhere. I kept the newspaper reports but I don’t know why.

I was offered counselling but didn’t take it. Decided I didn’t need it. I didn’t take the children to school the next day and avoided that route for a good few months. When I walk along it now, I make sure I’m talking on the phone so I’m not thinking about where it happened.

It made me very wary of men walking behind me for a while and even now, I’ll sometimes pretend to be looking for something in my bag and they’ll pass me.

The two positives that came out of this are:
The children rely on me, I had to keep going, especially with the autism, the routine had to be kept.
It’s made me start up driving lessons again, it’s horrendously expensive but it’s going well. I hope to be taking my test by end May.

So, at the moment I’m fine & it’s helped blogging it but if I’m either a bouncy bunny craving attention or a shy mouse on Wednesday, you now know why. But I do know February 2nd 2012 will be welcomed with open arms.

At a friend’s suggestion I have bought a blue woolly hat from Oxfam, I’m going to burn it as symbolism.

The best laid plans….

We were all set for our trip to Reading. Snacks & drinks under the buggy. Bus times obtained.

We had worked out precisely where we were going and in what order: lunch in MacDonalds & a trip to House of Fraser – D wanted a rubiks cube bud duck, I wanted to look at the handbag section, T would be happy as long as we looked in the Game store.

Just as we were about to leave, D (who has the bladder of a camel) wet herself. Consequent meltdown.

Trip abandoned. Relevant areas scrubbed. Washing machine on.

We have found the duck she likes on Amazon & she is now happy at home.

I’ve just cleaned out the guinea pigs & been wee-d on by one of them too!